I'm so high, don't wanna come down [Trey Songz]

I did something stupid exactly two weeks ago. I drunktexted. It made me feel foolish. Took me back to the days of foolish text messages that made me smile one moment and frown the next. I showed my friends, they were happy for me. Smiled as hard as I did. It gave me hope. Maybe I wasn't the only one who saw it this way. I excitedly called DT. Her first question "Why did you do that?" My smile faltered in response. Why did I do that? I don't know. She continues, "Toya don't forget everything that happened.." Then went on to remind me what happened. Though she pulled me down from my high by my pinky toe, she was right. No reason to be excited. This doesn't change anything at all.

I told NG about the drunktexting yesterday. She said the same thing DT did plus more. Don't spoil a good thing. I should know that already. I did know that already. Sometimes I do stupid things when the selfish me takes over, but that's no excuse. I can't be that person anymore. The drunk texting had the opposite effect of what my drunk, selfish self was hoping for. It only solidified everything else.

Those moments of temporary floating affected the most important thing: my emotional stability. I can't do that anymore. Those highs were amazing, but the lows were agonizing.

Thanks to DT and NG for opening my eyes. I heart them.