Have you...have you been following me??

:cellphone rings:

Me: Hey [Insert Roomie's name here]

Roomie: Girrrrrllll, guess who just came here looking for you?

Immediately, I thought it was the ex...Don't ask.

Roomie: Mike.

I guessed wrong.

Me: Mike? Mike who?

Roomie: Ohio State Mike.

Me: Ohhhh my gosh!! [My hand went to my heart]

Roomie: He said he was in the neighborhood and just wanted to see you. I told him you were in a study group.

[In my neighborhood???? He has no business on this campus, which is a good 15 minutes by car from his house. And I so love my roomie for not telling him my whereabouts.]

Me: [Still dazed..] thannnnnkkkks.

I don't understand what part of "I don't want to talk to you anymore" he doesn't understand. It's really simple. Don't call my phone, don't stop by my room [UNINVITED at that], just leave me alone. I'm shaking right now. Like, I don't even know what to say. I was woman enough to call you and tell you that I don't want to talk to you anymore, can't you be man enough to handle rejection maturely.

sighs....

Ohio State

Him: I have something to tell you..

Me: I'm listening

Him: I don't go to Ohio State.

[DUHHH!! You told me you played football for Ohio State, It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you'd be on their roster...which you're not. Damn right I checked]

Me: Ok

Him: When you asked me what school I went to, I panicked.

[Panicked??? What kinda bxtchassness is this?]

Me: ok

Him: I actually go to and play for the University of Alabama.


Apparently, it's the cool thing to lie about what school you attend. What's even more hilarious is that his name isn't on the roster for UA either. So...are you even a football player? I know press doesn't validate someone, but wouldn't a football player have press, even local press. I hardly consider my ex a footbal star, but the papers around here can't get enough of him. It weirds me out when I google someone and find NOTHING. And this is after seeing his Drivers License, so at least I know he didn't lie about his name..
No need to ask, I definitely stopped answering his phone calls after that conversation. I hate liars.

Conversation..

12:40 am with the ex..

Him: i heard you have a bf now

Me: no you didn't

Him: yea i did... is it true?

Me: NO

I didn't mean to write the last part in caps. I was somewhat flabbergasted at his statement, the fact that he wanted to know whether it was true, and the fact that someone actually told him that..if they did at all. We don't run in the same circles so I'm inclined to think that he's just being nosy and needed some way to camouflage such a suggestive statement.