Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Summer keeps knockin

Despite my love for change, I find that one of the hardest things to do is to move forward.

This Thanksgiving I had plans to meet up with a summer flame. Things didn't work out as planned, but I was actually happy about it. Not seeing him meant that I could let go of our situation; it assured me that our summer 'love' ended with the season. He wasn't deserving of my purpose (got that from a CB song lol) and I think I've found someone who is ... or someone who is willing to work for my purpose. I swear I felt so good about letting go of summer and moving on to the current season.
That is, until 2 minutes ago when summer sent me a text message, apologizing for standing me up.
WHY WHY WHY
I honestly think guys sense when you're over their bullshxt. I don't even care about the text. I knew he was going through some stuff, a lot of which were more important than a date, but I was still ready to change seasons. Now I feel bad. He apologized and now I feel guilty ... like I owe him a second chance or something. I know I don't owe him shxt, but the feeling is still there.

I keep wondering if I am ready to change or grow, at least grow past the last season. I guess that's my thought of the moment.

Oh and I'm not using change and growth interchangeable, I know that they mean separate things.
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And I can't end on a sucky note, so....
BIG HELLOS to Falone, Vanessa, and Dahana. I didn't even realize people read this, so thanks ladies.

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